Angst.

Trials are nearing so me, Ngiap Li, Gladys and the lot were talking about life after SPM-colleges, NS etc. I was all happy clappy, thinking of pursuing my studies in Melbourne Uni after taking pre-U or foundation here.

(In Chemistry lab)

One asked, what were you guys talking about? So I told her and her friend 'you know, studying which uni and all. I thought of getting myself into Melbourne Uni after studying here. Hmm, its a good uni. The top one in Aussie some more. 'I was bombarded with 'you need quality to get in there'.

For the record, it was the first time SHE was so harsh to me.

Excuse me? Look at who's talking about quality. I know you've been studying very hard, so am I... NOT! To be frank, I never really fancy her and yes, I don't need to try even. *yawn* The always holy and innocent, she's just everything she's not. :) Trust me, anything but holy and innocent. She contradicts her believes la. She thinks holding hands and hugging a guy is sin, she thinks going out with a guy alone will built up temptations but she did it anyway. Fine, I wouldn't be mean and go to that extend yet.

I'M DUMB.
There, I am dumb. That's what she thinks of me. I'm so dumb I only failed History, I'm so dumb I got top 5 (from the top, mind you) in class. I'm so dumb I select the dumbest people of all to study with. I'm so dumb I go to school and fool around thinking SPM is no where near soon. I'm so dumb I didn't fail my BM *wails* and of course, I'm so dumb I to go to a guy's house, ALONE.

-__-;;;

Get it now? I'm too dumb to get into my choice of university even if that's just a dream. I'm so dumb I'll strive hard for it and get my butt in there! Just you wait.

You dimwit, not even a guy who gets top 10 in the whole form (in his school), or anyone for that matter dare look down on me. Who do you think you are to do so? I thought holy people don't do things as such?

I'm angry. Angry to be belittled. Angry for being not able to stand up for myself when she said that right to my face. Angry for being lost for words when she said it. Angry... Just plain angst.


A big bear hug later will do me good. I'm sure. Going off to tuition to see my larling and teddy bear. *hugs both*


Add-ons :
No bear hugs but I did rant a lot. I screamed a lot too and it feels damn good. On the other hand, still cranky. Whatever it is. More Caramel Macchiato, some mango and passion fruit ice blended(it better be good) and sushi. Yum! Now let's hope tomorrow turns out good. I should really get myself a punching bag. :) Time to sleep, or not. I shall get back to my story book. Whee.